My Filter (or lack thereof)

A friend once told me that I could make friends at a post-it convention, which I felt was a nice compliment.

What can I say? I am a very sociable, extroverted soul. I will and do engage in conversation with ANYONE, solicited or not. If I sense a disturbance in the force, I will back off as to not go into stranger-danger mode, but if we gel, hot damn, it’s on! 

This is where my fun begins!

I am passionately curious and genuinely interested in people: their thoughts, ideas, personal stories and the overall absurdities they’ve encountered during the course of their lives.

It’s quite the experience when I am with my friends...my true balls-to-bones home girls. There is never any need for explanation; and for that, I am thankful to an infinite degree. Anything can set us (me) off: the sound of someone’s voice, the song on the radio, the tasteless kitschy objects at lunch, etc. It’s difficult to appreciate the insanity of my inner-circle: we’re all bat-shit crazy.

Those that do know me and hear my ramblings are secretly waiting to witness the hysterics that will ensue or cringe at the content that will definitely escape from my pie hole.

It’s difficult to pinpoint what happens during the course of my unusual days. Sometimes I feel that I have Tourette Syndrome, but mostly it’s that I have no filter or a lack of a filter, like a Dyson vacuum. I call things as I see them, no matter the circumstance.

I can’t help but call out the obvious stupid bullshit people say, so I ask questions that create more questions.  At times, I completely repel people by voluntarily elaborating on my own personal stories (that I don’t consider too personal, but is apparently TMI for others). When this occurs (which is daily), it’s never in a rude, but most always in a noticeable way.  It either takes them aback in disbelief to what they’ve just overheard, which either makes them want to join in on the conversation because the topic hits home, or sends them running for the hills because they know they’re about to be embarrassed because I would totally ask them a personal question if they were in my peripheral.

Do I really give a rat’s ass HOW people react to my lunacy? Not really. I know I’m off my rocker, but I honestly don’t care. I am who I am. Some people get me, others don’t. I understand that, but it is what it is and for that, I have no apologies. 

We’re all different ‘human’ beings coming from different backgrounds, cultures, and upbringings; but come on, when something is funny, wrong, harmful, or just downright ridiculous, how can you not expose it? You can’t just keep it in like a rumbling fart waiting to explode. You have to let it out or one day you may pop. Can you image the mess that would be?

I have ONE voice; it’s neither indoor nor outdoor: it’s ONE setting, and it’s quite loud. Whenever I begin a story or I am about to comment on something, I preface it by saying, “I’m not yelling!” For example, Asian people don’t get my sense of humor; they think I am yelling at them and being a smart-ass.

Are there really that many personal questions?  I’m not asking the color of their fecal matter that morning (although sometimes I do). However, in a professional environment, I am consciously and constantly aware -at all times- of who is around and their proximity of my bullhorn to their ear. 

I don’t believe in small-talk bullshit such as “the weather’s nice, isn’t it?”  Nobody really cares to talk about the weather; they have real issues they’re thinking about.

It’s a proven fact that people are attracted to others who have shared similar experiences to which they can relate. What better way to know who those people are than to reveal your thoughts and experiences to them?

I’ve learned that once you self-disclose to someone, they unconsciously open up. I love when this happens; it’s like a mental picture of a calving glacier. Their walls come crashing down. I can feel their catharsis and that’s when I like to dig in and probe, like an alien abduction searching for what makes people tick. It’s fascinating and heartfelt. We both walk away satisfied; at least I do.