Grateful

I am grateful for every one and every thing that God has placed in my life.

I am happy.

July 2013

i am the luckiest woman alive.
i have a wonderful husband-who after 21 years, has put up with more shit than any human is capable of enduring, a super smart, loving daughter who continually pushes all the right buttons and is growing up super fast! Man, is she smart!!!
i share miraculous friendships with a vast array of good people.
my family is top notch; bat shit crazy, but awesome nonetheless.
i will continue to help my true friends and in turn they unconsciously help me- which is a Godly gift.
My father continues to be the shining light of my life and for HIM i am truly grateful. Thank you, God for allowing me to choose Frank Tholke.
It is my intent to better myself spiritually and honestly and to be there for my friends and family, no matter what they need or when they need it.
This is what i do.

Gems

I've recently, yet what seems like forever ago, lost a rare gem. I had grown to cherish this elusive gem more and more as each day passed. I don't believe in coincidences, but it did happen to be our birthstone. 


Now, this was no ordinary stone...no.....just, NO! In fact, she was an extraordinary- PURE, RAW, Truly UNCUT.. rock, MY ROCK.



I felt as if someone had broken into my soul (btw-it's where I keep all my gems) and yanked my lifeline. Just as one would start to pull a tiny thread- and it's been unraveling ever since, day by day.  Perhaps, eroding would be a more precise word. Yes, eroding. Just as a rock erodes with each lashing of an ocean wave.

Then, in the blink of an eye, POOF!, I was gem-less. Where had it gone and why would anything or anyone want to destroy it??  My questions are endless. The answers even more a mystery.

You ever really LOOK at a gem? Ah! the internal matrix's that sum up a stone. I mean, really examine all of the intricacies-all of the prismatic beauty, the cuts, the lines, the dullness contrasting perfectly with the sharp jagged bits encapsulated inside this semi-precious, yet sturdy stone?


For all I know, my gem could be sitting on a shelf or have been thrown from the highest mountain; easily shattered if dropped, or thrown hard enough.

I covet my gems. Why would I not?  They're in my soul. MY SOUL.

 
I will miss you until the day of sweet release....


for those reading who may be thinking- "just go get another gem"- you can fuck yourself. i don't require another GEM- i want mine BACK.