Grateful

I am grateful for every one and every thing that God has placed in my life.

I am happy.

July 2013

i am the luckiest woman alive.
i have a wonderful husband-who after 21 years, has put up with more shit than any human is capable of enduring, a super smart, loving daughter who continually pushes all the right buttons and is growing up super fast! Man, is she smart!!!
i share miraculous friendships with a vast array of good people.
my family is top notch; bat shit crazy, but awesome nonetheless.
i will continue to help my true friends and in turn they unconsciously help me- which is a Godly gift.
My father continues to be the shining light of my life and for HIM i am truly grateful. Thank you, God for allowing me to choose Frank Tholke.
It is my intent to better myself spiritually and honestly and to be there for my friends and family, no matter what they need or when they need it.
This is what i do.

Gems

I've recently, yet what seems like forever ago, lost a rare gem. I had grown to cherish this elusive gem more and more as each day passed. I don't believe in coincidences, but it did happen to be our birthstone. 


Now, this was no ordinary stone...no.....just, NO! In fact, she was an extraordinary- PURE, RAW, Truly UNCUT.. rock, MY ROCK.



I felt as if someone had broken into my soul (btw-it's where I keep all my gems) and yanked my lifeline. Just as one would start to pull a tiny thread- and it's been unraveling ever since, day by day.  Perhaps, eroding would be a more precise word. Yes, eroding. Just as a rock erodes with each lashing of an ocean wave.

Then, in the blink of an eye, POOF!, I was gem-less. Where had it gone and why would anything or anyone want to destroy it??  My questions are endless. The answers even more a mystery.

You ever really LOOK at a gem? Ah! the internal matrix's that sum up a stone. I mean, really examine all of the intricacies-all of the prismatic beauty, the cuts, the lines, the dullness contrasting perfectly with the sharp jagged bits encapsulated inside this semi-precious, yet sturdy stone?


For all I know, my gem could be sitting on a shelf or have been thrown from the highest mountain; easily shattered if dropped, or thrown hard enough.

I covet my gems. Why would I not?  They're in my soul. MY SOUL.

 
I will miss you until the day of sweet release....


for those reading who may be thinking- "just go get another gem"- you can fuck yourself. i don't require another GEM- i want mine BACK.

IHOP

So- tonight we went to IHOP- I was craving the grilled pot roast sandwich, with 2 cheeses.  It's divine.

Peyton was acting nutty, dragging her hands through the whipped cream, syrup, and yogurt. She was not listening or had a come back to each thing I said.

Perhaps, I may have been a bit stern: but NOT to haven't warranted the following note that the waitress gave to me, from the 2 ladies that were seated at the table next to us.

  It read-

"You have such a beautiful lil child and it breaks my heart that you speak to her so coldly.  She is a child (underlined several times) and a gift from God" signed- God Bless You".

Of course, this broke my heart- brought me to tears, actually.

Then- i thought- this person has no idea about me or my child.  Fuck her.

So, here I sit, wondering if she's right, knowing that I can have a sharp tongue (never cussing), but I am quite stern.  I am raising a respectful daughter, not an animal.

I shared it with my husband, who shook his head and ripped it up while stating, "did she have kids with her", I said, "No"- he said, "well then she has no idea what it takes".

Just wanted to share.

Thanks for listening.

Jenn~

Blog Award- LIEBSTER

I have been nominated for the prestigious blog award named, LIEBSTER.  Please copy the LIEBSTER award picture and paste to your page!

Below are my answers to the questions from the infamous, Gwen, author of http://www.pullmyfunnybone.com/ and I will also ask 11 questions of my own for the other award recipients to answer!  Have Fun!

Accepting the award also involves answering a series of questions so here you go- These questions-brought to you by Gwen-a-licious....

1.  Have you ever been caught in a lie? probably

2.  If you had superhuman powers, which power would you have? the ability to heal
3.  If your significant other gave you a "free pass" - who would be yours?  Jack White
4.  What is your biggest phobia?  Spiders & Roaches
5.  What is the longest you've gone without taking a bath or shower? a week, but i was swimming in a river daily, so it's not like i wasn't submerged in water.
6.  What flaw is enough to make you end a relationship? back-stabbing
7.  Do you have any tattoo's? No
8.  Have you ever looked in someone's medicine cabinet? Of course, doesn't everyone?
9.  Do you pee in the shower? of course, I've even pooped, when absolutely necessary
10. How often do you ignore calls on your cell phone? rarely
11. What's the favorite part of your body? my eyes

 Aubree, author of  http://www.akashicwindow.blogspot.com/ has chosen the questions below, of which I have answered.

1.) Do you consider yourself to be super-duper fly?  just super-fly, not super-duper
2.) What is your favorite reality show?  i don't watch them, but I do enjoy re-runs of Project Runway & America's Next Top Model!
3.) Do you fear that the Apocalypse or Armageddon will occur in your lifetime? I feel we are on the brink of something.  Nuclear- i hope not, war-Yes and beginning of a global consciousness- God, I hope so.
4.) What is one of your top three favorite quotes of all time?  "It will all find its way, in time"
5.) Who is your Favorite writer?  James Redfield & Maya Angelou
6.) Can you recite any movie in its entirety, and if so, which one?Yes, Grease 1 & 2, and Friday.
7.) What one person has most influenced your life thus far? Tori Amos
8.) What is your favorite childhood memory?  can't remember much, maybe playing softball in Chicago during the summer.
9.) Why do you blog?  to share my thoughts with others.
10.) What is the most terrifying thing to ever happen to you?  thinking that my subconscious could come to a reality at a moment's notice or that it already happened and i am getting snippets of reality.
And finally, number 11) Do you wipe front to back or back to front?when i poop, front to back, when i pee, i pat.

Questions answered!  Per the rules of accepting the Liebster Award, I have come up with eleven more questions of my own to ask the eleven other righteous blogs that I nominate and promote for all earthlings to view. My questions are below"

1.  Have you had conversations with the non-living?
2.  What are your must haves with you, at all times?
3.  How many friends do you consider "true" friends and why?
4. What is your favorite food and beverage?
5. Who is your favorite musical influence?
6.  What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?
7.  What is your favorite time of the year?
8.  What do you collect?
9.  What musical instrument would you like to learn?
10. If you had to choose between being blind or deaf, which would you choose?
11. What do you quote, on a regular basis?


Now, to nominate fellow blogarians~

http://www.akashicwindow.blogspot.com/

http://www.pullmyfunnybone.com/

http://rockadocious.blogspot.com/ 

http://onemoretimemama.blogspot.com/

http://keepinyouout.blogspot.com/

http://www.kristiewashere.com/

Tides- They are a changin'

So, with Hurricane Sandy in full force, I thought I'd write a poem.

Full Moon staring into your eyes
Breezy, fierce wind blowing by
Brewing, boiling, and reaching to the sky

Oceans erupting, swelling, engulfing
Naive people not heeding their warning
Stranded without power, nothing to do but worry

When will it end you may wonder?

I believe it's just the beginning

May God Be Us, always, In All Ways


ALL my Best-

JENN

Chasing the Dragon

I will not dwell...
today was hell...
makes me think of diving into the wishing well....

jaws are clenching....
gut is wrenching....
every nerve standing on end....

is going up worth coming down?
we'll shall see..... we'll shall see....

"How long is forever, this time?" Willie